Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize