Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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