Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
