I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
