so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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