I am puke
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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