i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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