I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
