i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
