white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
