Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
