He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I would fuck him just for his dog
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
