marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I faked an abortion last night.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize