I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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