hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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