Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
