Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
