I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
