erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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