It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
