One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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