So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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