he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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