Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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