my mouth tastes like poor choices
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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