he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
