last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
