I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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