Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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