remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
