so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
