moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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