Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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