Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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