Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
