I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
