then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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