Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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