Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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