Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
