Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
