when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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