Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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