hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize