you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
