this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
