so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
