you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
