Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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