Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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