Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
