Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
