you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
