we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize