There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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