Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
