Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
