I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
