I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i need some magic done to my vagina
We need to feng shui this bitch.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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